oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
