just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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