you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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