oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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