capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
