I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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