it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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