Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
