I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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