i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
