is your mom at the bar?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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