You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
