I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
