Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
