Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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