break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
