I think my fart just growled at me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
