I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
