I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
