They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
