I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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