And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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