Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
