I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize