she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Enjoy the penises
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
