i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
