he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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