dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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