Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
