I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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