Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
its not stalking. its research.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
