I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
