Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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