They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
