I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
