Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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