Where are you?
In a non slutty way
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
