My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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