I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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