rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just tell him i said nine months
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
