Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can Purell be used as lube?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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