Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
