She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
