You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
