whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize