Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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