I wish life had little blips of pornography
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
