oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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