Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize