Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
