All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Let's get the cat blown out
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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