Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
