we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
