Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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