Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
