There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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