you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
