Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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