I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
