It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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