are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
