So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
