Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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