Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
