My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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