booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
