i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
