Sponge bath it is.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
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You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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