I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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