dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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